Combating My Extremist Tendencies

One topic that I started tackling with Therapist is my dislike of aging. Nope, I don't like it at all. I'm one of those people who loves it when the universe says things like "40 is the new 30." Cause who doesn't want to shave a decade or more off of their age?

When we are young, we can't wait to get to certain ages. Like when you're 4, you wanna be 5. And those are the years when it's super duper important to note to everyone that you're actually 4 and a fraction rather than just 4.

When you're 9, you wanna be 10. When you're 12, you wanna be 13. And then you really wanna be 18. And then you really really wanna be 21.

And then something changes. You DEFINITELY don't use fractions anymore and all of a sudden, especially if you start having babies, the years start to zoom by.

I was exposing my resistance about getting old to Therapist. As we talked, Therapist pointed out that things can get unhealthy when a person is truly unable to accept one's age and the reality that we cannot stop the aging process. Our convo went something like this.

• "But I don't want to accept my age or the process of aging," I said.
• "Why not?"
  
• "Because people who accept their age are out of shape, wear ugly clothes, complain about loud music, and are very much out of touch with technology and everything that is now."
• "So you think as soon as you accept that you are how old you are you'll lay on the couch to pack on the pounds, become attracted to unattractive clothes, and develop an aversion to technology?"
• "Well, I don't think I'll ever be a person who sits on the couch with cupcakes and I'll always love beautiful clothes ... and ..."
• "Exactly. There are plenty of people who accept their age AND stay fit, and stay up-to-date with things that are important to them. They are not mutually exclusive."

Breakthrough moment.

I do have extremist tendencies. I realize that. During an earlier session I had pointed out to Therapist that I don't want to be a person who's crying all the time talking about feelings. And that I'd rather be stoic and serious rather than a feely touchy wet noodle. To which Therapist said why is it one or the other? Why the extremes? Can't a person have a serious personality AND be in touch with their feelings?

Breakthroughs just keep on a comin'.

Comments

[Sharon Bull]

Hi Jenny, this post resonated with me because I, too, am struggling with the aging process. Sometimes I feel panic when I think about it. Your insights have helped me to rethink my assumptions regarding aging. Thanks for sharing. This is a topic that is rarely discussed on the art blogs. I would like to see more dialog about it. Why do we become more invisible the older we become (especially in the fashion stores and magazines)? We need to forge a new paradigm that celebrates the aging process and encourages women to stay fit and stylish.