And

During my recent session with Therapist, when I was expressing guilt related to some relationships in my life, Therapist said "You're being hard on yourself." To which I said,

"With all due respect, you are saying that I'm being hard on myself because of the nature of our relationship ... which is that I'm paying you to listen to me and to sort of be on my side. You are not objective."

And then I explained that if I were to be in a room with people that I didn't know and people I wasn't paying, that my behaviors could be assessed with true objectivity ... assessing bad as bad without any stories spun for sympathy.

Therapist's response was this:

"I am not sort of on your side. I am on your side. And, I am objective. How would it serve you to be on your side and offer assessments that were disingenous? How would that be being on your side? Can't I be on your side and observe that you are being hard on yourself at times that you are being hard on yourself and observe that you are being cavalier at times when you are being cavalier?"

And.

What a powerful concept. The concept that really defines my biggest insights this year.

Good and bad.
Serious and in touch with feelings.
On my side and objective.

Not naughty or nice, but naughty and nice.

Comments

[Delisa Marchetti]

Hi Jenny, my name is Delisa, I am 50 years old. I am originally from Long Beach, California and now live in a small town in rural Georgia. I enjoy your writing very much. I started reading Somerset LIfe a few years ago when you were editor. You gave the publication a beautiful energy and the articles and artwork were very inspiring to me.

I wanted to tell you how sorry I was, when I read today about the loss of your brother. Your post deeply resonated with me. I remember asking many of the same questions. From my own personal experience as I worked along with the grieving process, I found that allowing myself to feel all the tears and unexpected thoughts and emotions, in time, produced a kind of peace and calmness that I would not have imagined possible. There are rewards; beautiful memories that come back to soothe and heal, surprise laughter, a deepening of compassion and tender feelings for others, a sense of renewed purpose and gratitude.

Thank you for continuing to write from your heart. Delisa Marchetti